'Dear Friends' February 2011

Week of February 7, 2011 Prayer Requests    The Danger of Isolation Dear Friends:        Nesting is a common phenomenon of aging. It refers to burrowing in at home. The world shrinks to that one favorite chair in front of the television. Within reach are the TV remote, piles of old newspapers and magazines, snack food, and a coffee cup (and maybe a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of alcohol). Nesting is a sure sign that your loved one has become too isolated.        We’re social animals. We need to be around others. A care-receiver who has become a hermit is in danger of developing a host of problems. Again, the maxim “Use it or lose it” is a helpful guide. A person who is mentally stimulated and challenged can think more clearly. A person who gets some physical exercise, who is out and about, feels better and sleeps more soundly at night. A person who is concerned about others, who feels he or she is making a contribution, is less self-absorbed. A person with basic social skills is going to pay attention to appearance and manners.        Of course, sometimes there are very good reasons for sticking close to home. We all have our downtimes. It could be that your care-receiver has been sick. Maybe your loved one is recovering from surgery. But for some, it’s not hard for that recuperative period to lead to an unhealthy isolation. You realize that your loved one used to belong to a parish guild or an altar society but now only attends Sunday Mass. She no longer takes the bus downtown for that once-a-month luncheon with friends. She only goes out to buy groceries, and she doesn’t even want to do that. . . .        This is how the February Catholic Caregivers flier begins. You can find it here on CatholicCaregivers.com. And we've also posted it as a Topic on YourAgingParent.com.        The February Prayers of Intercession and Bulletin Briefs are now online, too. - - -        The World Day of the Sick is this Friday, Feb. 11, the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. You can read Pope Benedict XVI's message on it here. There may be a special Mass or prayer service in your diocese or parish. - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Carol L. of South Carolina as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of February 14, 2011 Prayer Requests    Dear Friends:        As we wrote in our latest newsletter:        On a day dedicated to love, we — on behalf of your care-receiver — want to thank you for being such a . . . sweetheart!        (We're sorry we can't send you a box of candy, but perhaps the two of you can split a can of chocolate Ensure.)        No matter the particulars of your situation — if, for example, your care-receiver forgets to say "Happy Valentine's Day" to you or, so much harder, has trouble remembering you are his or her longtime Valentine — we can and do send this gift:        Our prayers are with you, on this day and every day. - - -        The newsletter also includes The Beatitudes for Caregivers. - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Mary W. of California as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of February 21, 2011 Prayer Requests    You're the Spitting Image of Christ Dear Friends:       We all tend to equate "Christ-like" with prayer, with faith, with compassion, with sacrifice, with holiness, with wisdom, with . . . just about anything but spitting. But -- St. John the Evangelist (and the Caregiver) says spit he did.              As he passed by he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"        Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him. We have to do the works of the one who sent me while it is day. Night is coming when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."       When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva, and smeared the clay on his eyes, and said to him, "Go wash in the Pool of Siloam" (which means Sent). So he went and washed, and came back able to see.                                               --John 9:1-7         As a caregiver, you're the spitting image of Christ. As a caregiver, you also sometimes get your hands dirty as you help your dear loved one. No, you can't heal your care-receiver but you give him or her a comforting cleanliness as you help them wash. You take those soiled articles of clothing and sheets and pillowcases and return them clean and soft and smelling wonderful. You scrub the bathroom, you vacuum the carpets, you perform countless acts of manual labor. And so, day after day, your prayers aren't just in words, they're in drops of sweat.        If, at times, you feel far from Christ and far from holiness because of the many demands of caregiving, remember this: Sometimes the "odor of sanctity" is a little gamy. - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Estela M. of California as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of February 28, 2011 Prayer Requests    Words That Sting, Words That Comfort Dear Friends:        If your loved one is seriously ill, you may soon discover that the reactions of others, and your own emotions, can take surprising twists and turns. It’s hard to think about what’s happening to your care-receiver; it may be harder to have to say those words out loud. “Mom has had a stroke.” “My husband was diagnosed with cancer.” “It’s at the stage where nothing else can be done.” “The doctor said it’s only a matter of months . . . of weeks . . . of days.”      If your loved one is seriously ill, you’ll have to speak about the situation repeatedly. That’s when questions from some of your peers may hurt. “How old is he?” “Did she smoke?” “Had he been sick for a while?” “Did she take good care of herself?” Though it’s never explicitly said, the meaning seems clear: Thank God it’s your loved one who’s sick and not mine. Mine is younger. Mine never smoked. Mine is healthy. Mine exercises and eats right.      These people don’t mean to be rude, but sometimes their words sting. . . .        This is the beginning of our newest Topic and it's the subject for the March edition of Catholic Caregivers. We've also posted new Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession on CatholicCaregivers.com. - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Linda W. of Washington, LaVae G. of Arizona, and Mary Ann M. of Pennsylvania as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter