We continue to receive requests for copies of "A
Caregiver's
Prayer" and more parishes and dioceses are
reprinting and distributing it (which we think is a
great idea!). The prayer is included in this month's issue of
Catholic Caregivers because the topic ("Dealing with
Your Parent's Racial and Ethnic Prejudices") isn't as
long as most topics are. (We
didn't want to waste any unused space on the flier.)
Just let us know if you'd like a copy of
the prayer or any other (free, free, free!) material we
offer. You can find the order form
here.
This is the
prayer:
A Caregiver’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, help me better understand and
believe I can do what you ask me to do.
Forgive me for the times, even now, when I question
your judgment.
As I go about the many daily tasks of caregiving,
give me energy.
As I watch my loved one oh-so-slowly walk across the
room, give me strength.
As I answer his/her repeated question just one more
time, give me patience.
As I look for solutions to whatever is the most
recent concern, give me wisdom.
As I reminisce with him/her about the “good old
days,” give me a moment of laughter.
As I get to know my loved one in a new way, seeing
both his/her strength and frailty, give me joy.
As I sit beside my loved one’s bed waiting for
his/her pain medication to take effect, give me
comfort.
Lighten my burden, answer my prayer, and give me the
strength to do what so often seems impossible. Give
me a quiet place to rest when I need it and a
quieting of my anxieties when I’m there.
Change my attitude from a tired, frustrated and
angry caregiver to the loving and compassionate one
I want to be.
Remain my constant companion as I face the
challenges of caregiving and when my job is through
and it’s time for me to let go, help me remember
he/she is leaving my loving arms to enter your
eternal embrace. Amen
This week we're
so pleased to welcome Lillian P. of Pennsylvania as the newest member of the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your
prayers. She have promised to pray for you and yours. And we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
It's not surprising that a lot of saints were also
caregivers.
Among the best known in recent times is
Father Damien of Molokai who was canonized in 2009 and
whose feast day is May 10.
You're probably familiar with his
story, but here's a lovely reflection on his
caregiving by Archbishop Michael Neary of Tuam, Ireland:
- - -
Happy Mother's Day to all moms, especially those who are
caring for a spouse or for a child with special needs.
And blessings on all caregivers taking care of their mothers!
- - -
This week we're
so pleased to welcome Thomas M. of Maryland and Patty G.
of Texas as the newest members of the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your
prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours. And we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Small wonder the short prayer at Mass between the Our
Father and the Sign of Peace is a favorite among
caregivers. It includes the
petition to "protect us from
all anxiety" and -- boy! -- can caregivers have
some anxious times.
So can care-receivers. So can all people
because, in this life, worries and anxieties are a part
of the human condition.
It's not a matter of a lack of faith. Jesus had perfect
faith. His mother Mary was sinless. And they certainly
had their anxious moments, too. (Mary and Joseph losing
their young son in Jerusalem, for example. Or Christ's
prayers in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night before
he was crucified.)
The prayer we say at Mass, the prayer
you say at Mass, isn't asking that all anxieties be
removed. It's requesting that those many worries and
concern don't control us. Don't debilitate us. Don't
consume us.
Notice what follows that prayer: a
sign of peace. An opportunity to offer that sign, to
share that sign, to those nearby at Mass. An invitation
to quiet our hearts as we prepare to receive Our Lord in
the Eucharist.
"Peace," said the angel Gabriel to
Mary. "Peace," said the Risen Christ to the frightened,
hiding apostles. It wasn't a peace that eliminated
Mary's sorrows. It wasn't a peace that made the apostles'
mission and ministry easy.
It isn't a peace that will take away
your caregiving worries. Fears. Grief. It's a peace, a
grace, that will help you do what God has asked you to
do despite the worries, the fears, the grief that come
with that invitation, with that vocation.
May the peace of the Lord be with you
always!
- - -
This week we're
so pleased to welcome Matthew M. of Tennessee as the newest member of the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. Please keep him and his intentions in your
prayers. He has promised to pray for you and yours. And we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
It's hard to say what's hardest when it comes to
caregiving. Among the many challenges is letting go,
if only briefly. After
spending so much time
helping a loved one -- days, weeks, months, or even
years -- it's allowing someone else to provide care,
whether that be a fellow family member, friend,
volunteer or paid professional. In some cases, it's having a
care-receiver attend an adult day center.
That short break, that
respite care, is
important because a caregiver can't be the provider he
or she wants to be without having some time away, some
time off, some personal time, if only for a few hours a
week.
Then, too, sometimes letting go means
a major shift in your role because it's time for your
loved one to move to an assisted living facility, an
adult family home or nursing facility. You've reached the
point where you simply can't provide the kind of care he
or she has come to need. And even though, in your head
you know it has to be this way, in your heart you feel a
sense of guilt.
It may help to consider a bedtime prayer
attributed to Pope John XXIII:
"I’ve done the best I could in your service this
day, Oh Lord. I’m going to bed. It’s your Church.
Take care of it!"
The Lord
knows you've done the best you could. And he knows you
need those regular breaks, or now need to accept the
fact it's time for a major change.
Your loved one was, is and always will be
our heavenly Father's loved one. Rest assured
he'll take care of his beloved son or daughter.
- - -
This week we're
so pleased to welcome Ellen W-G. of Oregon, Diane D. of
Texas and Jeannie G. of New Jersey as the newest members of the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your
prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours. And we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
As we head into June we're reminded that a lot of
married couples have their anniversary during this
month. That got us
thinking
about marriage vows and how easy it can be to promise to
love each other "for richer or for poorer, in sickness
and in health."
Or some variation of that.
The "richer or poorer" line strikes home for most
newlyweds but unless the bride or groom has experienced
poor health, the idea of "sickness" beyond a bad cold or
the flu is pretty much unimaginable.
That can change quickly, and suddenly. And,
truth be told, even if those serious health concerns
don't crop up for 30 or 40 years, it still seems
"quickly." Longtime married couples will tell you the
years pass in the blink of an eye. And it can be
"suddenly." A routine checkup or heading in to see the
doctor for what one assumes is a minor concern can
reveal a serious issue. Or a heart attack or stroke
turns the couple's everyday world upside down.
If you're caring for an aging parent,
you're probably aware of how the parent/child roles can
reverse. In the past he or she cared for you. Now you
help him or her.
Caring for a spouse can mean a similar
adjustment and it can be especially challenging if, over
those many years of marriage, a wife has handled some
duties and the husband has handled others. (Cooking,
home maintenance, bill paying, laundry, and on and on.)
As with all caregiving, there's the feeling
of "not my loved one,"
but with a married couple there's the added twist of a
rookie taking over a veteran's responsibilities as the
veteran watches. And sometimes winces. (He follows her
recipe to the letter but the result is . . . not good.
She hires someone to mow the lawn and the thought of
paying to have that done irritates him to no end.)
What a married couple comes to discover is that
"in sickness and in health" includes the fact that the
patient and the one helping the patient have to be . . .
patient. With their spouse. And with themselves.
Our prayers are with you.
- - -
This week we're
so pleased to welcome Kariann L. of New York as the newest member of the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your
prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours. And we cordially
invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Prayer" and more parishes and dioceses are
reprinting and distributing it (which we think is a
great idea!). The prayer is included in this month's issue of
Among the best known in recent times is
Father Damien of Molokai who was canonized in 2009 and
whose feast day is May 10.
petition to "protect us from
all anxiety" and -- boy! -- can caregivers have
some anxious times.
spending so much time
helping a loved one -- days, weeks, months, or even
years -- it's allowing someone else to provide care,
whether that be a fellow family member, friend,
volunteer or paid professional. In some cases, it's having a
care-receiver attend an adult day center.
thinking
about marriage vows and how easy it can be to promise to
love each other "for richer or for poorer, in sickness
and in health."