Over the years we've heard a lot of stories from a lot
of caregivers, but we've never heard one say, "I know
what I'm doing.
I'm sure of myself
with this."
We're pretty certain that most caregivers
have more than a few times of uncertainty. In fact,
caregiving includes more than learning to live with
uncertainty. It means continuing to persevere, and to
make decisions, despite uncertainty. What are caregivers unsure of?
--Their abilities to take care of another
person.
--Sorting out -- and keeping straight -- meds
and doctors' appointments and therapies and
insurance claims and on and on.
--Their strength, their patience, their
faith, their future.
--Their loved one's health . . . and future.
--God's decision to ask them to have this
particular vocation at this particular time with this
particular person. What was he thinking!
We hesitate to speculate on the mind of
God, but we suspect he was thinking, "At this time, with
this person, under these conditions, I choose you."
And, we're certain, he never abandons you.
He's with you and your loved one, all day and all night.
Our prayer for you this week is that, when
your caregiving worries have you tossing and turning in the
middle of the night, you can rest assured.
Rest.
Assured.
The Good Lord is with you.
- - -
Looking for some help making decisions? Check out
"Choosing the Best Solution"
here and
"Guidelines for Caregiving"
here.
"Guidelines for Caregiving" is also a video
that's available now on our YouTube channel:
JohnTheCaregiver.
This is the first of two parts:
- - -
As we mentioned last week, November is also National Family Caregiver Month. You
can read more about that and about a free "teleclass"
hosted by the National Family Caregiver Association
here.
The second Sunday of the month -- this
year, Nov. 9 --is Family Caregiver Sunday. You can read
more about how your parish can mark that occasion
here.
- - -
Please join us in welcoming the newest member of the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to
Pat R. in Ohio, Pat R. in Connecticut (yes, two "Pat
R.'s" in one week; on the same day, in fact); and Sharon
H. in Washington state. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers.
They've promised to
pray for caregivers and those receiving care.
And,
of course, we invite you to join, too! You can find out
more about becoming a member here. No meetings, no dues. Our members
include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who
support both (including quite a few former caregivers). You can
sign up on-line here right now!
Older members of the senior generation sometimes still
refer to Veterans Day (a federal holiday observed this
Tuesday) as Armistice
Day. In school, they learned it
marked the end of "the Great War" --later known as World
War I. The fighting stopped on the eleventh hour of the
eleventh day of the eleventh month. The holiday came to
honor all veterans and in 1954 the name was changed to
reflect that shift.
Veterans Day 2008 seems like a good
opportunity to focus on two groups:
The first is caregivers who have helped --
and who continue to help -- retired and former members of
the military who need care. Some have offered that
assistance to a spouse, a sibling or a parent for many
years. Others are just assuming that responsibility
after a loved one returns from a war zone with new, and
often overwhelming, needs.
This week in particular, please keep all
these families in your prayers.
The second group is what we could call
"veteran caregivers" in the sense that they're former
caregivers. Their care-receiver has returned to health
or has died.
A number of former caregivers are members
of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. We thank them
for sharing their stories with us and for offering all
caregivers the reminder that -- in the midst of so many
concerns and fears and obligations -- caregiving can
also be a time of tremendous blessing. That fleeting time
is precious time.
Again, this week in particular, please keep
all former caregivers in your prayers, too. Especially
those whose loved one has died in the last 12 months.
- - -
We've posted three more videos on our YouTube channel:
JohnTheCaregiver. (Or one video with three parts!)
"Caregiving from a Care-receiver's Point of View"
examines:
--Part 1: Independence
--Part 2: Loss and Grief
--Part 3: "I Don't Want to Be a Burden"
Here's the third segment, a topic that's
very familiar to caregivers.
- - -
We invite you to join us on Friday morning, Nov. 21, at
St. Theresa Parish in Federal Way, Wash., for a talk on
"The Spirituality of Caregiving." Click
here to
see the flier the parish has prepared.
- - -
Again this week we invite you to join the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. You can find out more about becoming
a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can
sign up on-line here or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646).
The calendar year still has six weeks to go but Nov.
23rd is the final Sunday of the Church year and its
liturgical calendar. As always,
the
feast celebrates Christ the King and Our Lord's coming
at the end of time. This year (using the "A"
readings, the first in a three-year cycle), the Gospel
is Matthew 25:31-46 and it talks about final judgment.
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory"
and "separates the sheep from the goats" on what will he
base his decisions? The answer is familiar to those who
know the Prayer to
St. John, Patron of Caregivers: "whatever you did
for one of the least . . . of mine, you did for me."
What you're doing as a caregiver matters
now, and in the long run . . . and forever.
(You can read the whole Gospel for next
Sunday
here.)
- - -
Parishes in the Seattle Archdiocese (where we live) are
asking members to make a stewardship commitment for
2009. The form being used includes three parts: time,
talent and treasure. As the time section explains, "Our
parish encourages everyone to give a portion of their
time to prayer, to worship, to their family, and to
community involvement." We were very pleasantly
surprised to see that under "My Family" is "Care for or
visit the elderly, homebound or sick."
--How wonderful that the archdiocese and
its parishes are acknowledging the role and the
spiritual dimension of family caregiving.
--How great it is for caregivers to be
reminded (or perhaps realize for the first time) that
assisting a care-receiver is a form of "prayer in
action." (Especially when, so often, a caregiver can
feel guilty because "I don't have time to pray.")
--How important it is to help
parishioners recognize that within their faith community
there are many, many caregivers.
- - -
Thanks to all who have used our new toll-free number to
ask for material (Free material, of course!) Try it
yourself: 1-800-392-JOHN (5646).
If no one is staffing the line when you
call, please leave a message. We'll get back to you or
-- if you give us the information -- ship the material
out to you.
However . . .
We have to say we can't help when someone
requests rocks for his or her aquarium. We had a few
messages asking for gravel and it took us a while to
figure that one out. Our new number is similar to a
company that sells sea coral. (We don't know if he or
she also sells seashells by the seashore, to quote an
old tongue-twister.)
- - -
We invite you to join us on this Friday morning, Nov. 21, at
St. Theresa Parish in Federal Way, Wash., for a talk on
"The Spirituality of Caregiving." Click
here to
see the flier the parish has prepared.
- - -
Again this week we invite you to join the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. You can find out more about becoming
a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
You're probably familiar with litanies -- those
traditional forms of prayers that include a list and a
response to each item. (The word
itself comes from the
Greek litaneia which means "a humble and fervent
appeal.") We thought we'd mark Thanksgiving 2009 with A
Caregiver's Thanksgiving Litany:
For all those who, like me, are taking care of a
loved one who is sick, elderly, disabled or frail: Thank you, Lord. For those
taking care of an aging parent: Thank you, Lord. For
husbands and wives taking care of a spouse: Thank you, Lord. For those
taking care of a child or sibling with special
needs: Thank you, Lord. For
parishes and dioceses offering help to family
caregivers: Thank you, Lord.
For friends and family who provide times of
respite and someone to talk to: Thank you, Lord.
For medical and healthcare professionals
who offer my loved one compassionate care: Thank you, Lord.
For the sacraments of the Eucharist,
Reconciliation and the Anointing of the Sick: Thank you, Lord.
For the awareness of your presence in the
middle of my caregiving duties and obligations: Thank you, Lord.
For the times my care-receiver graciously
accepts the help I'm offering: Thank you, Lord.
In gratitude for the intercession of St.
John, the patron of family caregivers: Thank you, Lord.
In gratitude for the prayers of Our Lady of
Need, patroness of those receiving care: Thank you, Lord.
For members of the Friends of St. John the
Caregiver who have promised to pray for me and my
loved one, for all caregivers and for all care-receivers: Thank you, Lord.
For the opportunity to serve you by
providing care for this person whom we both love so
dearly: Thank you, Lord, thank you. Amen.
- - -
If you're like us, some years the entire Advent season
can slip by without our getting the wreath put together
and a single candle lit. Fortunately, there are on-line
resources for helping make this Advent -- which begins
on Sunday! -- a time of prayer and preparation for the
feast of Christmas.
A popular choice is provided by Creighton
University in Omaha, Neb. To visit the
general information page click here, and to go
straight the
First Week of Advent, click here.
- - -
Thank you so much to Willa and Bob Gaines at St. Theresa
Parish in Federal Way, Wash., for arranging and hosting
last Friday's workshop for caregivers. Monica spoke on
"The Spirituality of Caregiving."
Thank you, too, to the many, many people
who attended! Thanks also to Father Kevin Moran,
parochial vicar.
- - -
Please
join us in welcoming the newest members of the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver: Laraine K. in Illinois, Paulette R. in Louisiana and
Carla S. in Wisconsin. Please keep them and their
intentions in your prayers. They've promised to pray for
caregivers and those receiving care.
Again this week we invite you to join, too.
You can find out more about becoming
a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
I'm sure of myself
with this."
Day. In school, they learned it
marked the end of "the Great War" --later known as World
War I. The fighting stopped on the eleventh hour of the
eleventh day of the eleventh month. The holiday came to
honor all veterans and in 1954 the name was changed to
reflect that shift.
the
feast celebrates Christ the King and Our Lord's coming
at the end of time. This year (using the "A"
readings, the first in a three-year cycle), the Gospel
is Matthew 25:31-46 and it talks about final judgment.
itself comes from the
Greek litaneia which means "a humble and fervent
appeal.") We thought we'd mark Thanksgiving 2009 with A
Caregiver's Thanksgiving Litany: