'Dear Friends' August 2011

Week of August 1, 2011 Prayer Requests    A Caregiver is a Martha and a Mary Dear Friends:        It somehow seems fitting that we were so busy last week the feast of St. Martha slipped right by us. You remember the story of the two sisters. Martha got things done while Mary sat and listened to Jesus. When Martha complained to Our Lord he told her to calm down and notice what Mary was doing. (This, of course, is a loose translation.) You can read the original (Luke 10:38-42) here.        When it comes to caregivers, most are a Martha and a Mary. Get busy tackling that to-do list and you wish you could just sit beside and be with your care-receiver. But then when you just sit beside and be with your care-receiver, you wish you could stop worrying about that to-do list.        Both are important. Both are what God has asked you to do. Each has its time and place.        And here, in a perfect world, is where the two of us would offer you a dandy solution. But, as far as we know, there isn't one. Although . . .        Jesus tells Martha "there is need of only one thing." In your role as caregiver you have only one thing, too. A "one thing" that includes two parts: getting things done for your loved one and spending time with him or her. They aren't opposites. Rather, they make up the whole of caregiving, in the same way that light and  heat make up a warm and welcoming fire on a dark winter's day. - - -       Again this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of August 8, 2011 Prayer Requests    Promoting Leisure-Time Activities  Dear Friends:        Here's how we begin the newest Topic on YourAgingParent.com and the August flier on CatholicCaregivers.com:        The senior generation didn’t just embrace the American work ethic; they embodied it. Year after year, decade after decade, they took great pride in giving an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wages. Then they retired. Abruptly, that precious and rare commodity known as free time filled their lives. What were they supposed to do? Some took awhile to adjust to their new state of life. Others acted like the proverbial kid set loose in the candy store.      Defining “leisure” isn’t easy. One person’s job is another’s hobby. In general, leisure-time activities fall into several broad categories:        --Temporary shutdown: this is being a couch potato, which just about everyone enjoys from time to time, although obviously it’s not good when it fills up an entire schedule        --Time alone: this might be reading or “people watching”        --Creative time alone: this would include activities such as knitting or carpentry projects        --Service: this is simply volunteer work        --Socializing: this is spending time with friends, family, and others for personal enjoyment        While a recent retiree may find a satisfying combination of the four for a while, that initial burst of enthusiasm doesn’t always last. Then, too, as the years go by, declining health may mean adjustments have to be made. . .        You can read the rest here or here.        We've also updated the monthly Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession. - - -        Thank you to Christina Lee Knauss for the great article on family caregiving in The Catholic Miscellany of the Diocese of Charleston, S.C. As soon as the article was published we began receiving calls from readers asking for a free copy of "The Little Book of Caregiver Prayers." - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Rick D. of California, Marcia W. of Maryland, and Virginia K. of Illinois as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of August 15, 2011 Prayer Requests    One in Six U.S. Workers Are Also Caregivers  Dear Friends:        A July Gallup poll reports that one in six Americans who work full-time or part-time jobs are also caregivers for an elderly or disabled family member. And, of course, that's not even counting those who have given up employment or taken an early retirement to help. Then, too, there are those who aren't working outside the home -- for pay -- but are doing many, many things to help their care-receiver. And there are those who first retired and then became a caregiver to a loved one.        In other words, there are a lot of caregivers! That's so in the United States and around the world but we know that, at the same time, many individual caregivers can feel very much alone.        As we've said many times before, if you're a caregiver please be assured that members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver worldwide are praying for you and your care-receiver.        You can read more about the poll at Gallup's website which features a three-part series: More Than One in Six American Workers Also Act as Caregivers Caregiving Costs U.S. Economy $25.2 Billion in Lost Productivity Most Caregivers Look After Elderly Parent; Invest a Lot of Time  - - -        The Spring-Summer issue of "Among Friends" (FSJC's newsletter) is now on-line. Among recent events featured is "The Little Book of Caregiver Prayers" being translated in Chinese and FSJC getting its first member from Lesotho, Africa. - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Jenny, Dan, Derrick, and Nate S. of California who are the first family to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver as a family. (We'd offer them the "family discount" but there are no fees or dues for being a member.) Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of August 22, 2011 Prayer Requests    All Alike But None the Same Dear Friends:        If there's one thing we've learned since we began writing about family caregiving in 1991 (20 years ago!), it's that all caregiving situations have some things in common but each is unique. That's true even when one care-receiver has several caregivers.        It can help to keep this in mind when you feel you aren't doing as good a job at this as your friend did, or your sibling is, or even as your spouse was able to do when he or she was the caregiver and you, for a time, were the care-receiver.        (Perhaps the last one is harder for you because your spouse has a harder time being the care-receiver! Many a new care-receiver quickly discovers he or she would much rather be the caregiver.)        After 20 years in the field, we're confident saying the vast majority of caregivers sometimes feel they aren't doing as well as they would like to be doing or as they think they should be doing. And that vast majority, time and time again, are providing the tender, loving care God has asked them, has invited them, to provide for his beloved son or daughter.        Then, too, it's when you're especially tired and anxious and afraid that your "self-grading" may be way off. For what seems like so many reasons, you feel like a failure. Not in God's eyes. He's the one, the only one, who knows the ins and outs of your caregiving situation. He's the one, Love itself, who's always there with you. - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Anne W. and Kathleen R. of Florida, Jimmy D. of South Carolina, and MaryAnn S. of New Mexico as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weeks of August 29 and September 5, 2011 Prayer Requests    God’s Will Here and Now Dear Friends:        You may be familiar with St. Gregory the Great (540?-604, feast day Sept. 3) because among his (many!) accomplishments as pope was helping develop the form of song now known as Gregorian chant. What you may not know is that Gregory is what we might call a “reluctant” pope. Biographers say the happiest years of his life were when he was living as a monk. It was what he longed to remain even as he stepped forward to lead the Church.        Maybe you, as a caregiver, have had a similar experience. There was something you were doing and you still want to do—something that, in some ways, you truly feel called to do—but God is saying “not now.” Or there may be something you hope to do in the future, something you truly feel called to do, but God is saying “not yet.”        God’s will for you, right here and right now, is to be a caregiver.        And, always, God is with you, right here and right now, as you live out that call. "Perhaps it is not after all so difficult for a man to part with his possessions, but it is certainly most difficult for him to part with himself. To renounce what one has is a minor thing; but to renounce what one is, that is asking a lot." --St. Gregory, "Homilies on the Gospels"         You can read more about St. Gregory here. - - -       This week we're so pleased to welcome Sister Rose M. of Missouri and Stewart T. of Indiana as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter