'Dear Friends' December 2008

Week of December 1, 2008    'God with Us' Dear Friends:        The first week of Advent means "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" is one of the top hymns at Sunday Mass. No doubt you're familiar with that one. The first verse reads: O come, O come, Emmanuel, And ransom captive Israel That mourns in lonely exile here Until the Son of God appear. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel.        There are some powerful words there that accurately reflect a caregiver's situation.        At times, a caregiver can feel "captive" to the many demands and responsibilities of assisting a loved one, especially as needs increase and his or her "own time" decreases.        He or she can feel "exiled" – cut off – from family, friends, fellow parishioner and others.        No wonder, at times, caregiving is "lonely" even though a caregiver is seldom alone. The one receiving care may be slipping away physically, mentally or both.        And there’s "mourning." The grieving begins long before a loved one dies.        How can a caregiver be "ransomed"?        What can make a difference?        "Emmanuel."        As you probably know, that word itself comes from the Hebrew for "God with us."        There's reason to "rejoice" – to be comforted; to let a troubled mind, heart and soul be at peace – because the God who asked you to take care of this person who's so dear to you – and to him – is with you always.        Always.        Always. - - -        As we mentioned last week, there are daily Advent reflections provided by Creighton University in Omaha, Neb. To visit the general information page click here, and to go straight the First Week of Advent, click here.        You can also find the Mass readings for each day at the site for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. That link is here. - - -        Treat yourself! No, you don't have to leave your shoes outside your bedroom door on Friday night -- the eve of St. Nicholas Day. Celebrate the feast day of the "original Santa" with a little something just for you! (You can read more about St. Nick here.) - - -        And, once again, the start of a new month means new Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession for parishes at CatholicCaregivers.com. The latest issue of Catholic Caregivers is on "Returning to the Church."        These are the two quotes for the Bulletin Briefs:        "Spiritual people can deal with this [caregiving] more easily because they allow Jesus to guide them in life. They see Jesus as the one in need beside them, and it becomes an act of love."        --Father Jean Robitaille, M. Afr.        "What he [the judge in the parable of final judgment] asks is only this: Did you visit me when I was sick? When I was in prison? Did you feed me when I was hungry, and did you clothe me when I was naked? And so, justice is decided by charity. Thus, at the end of this Gospel we can almost say: love alone, charity alone."        --Pope Benedict XVI, General Audience, Nov. 19, 2008 - - -        Please join us in welcoming the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver: Rose G. and Carolyn R-R., who both live in Illinois; and Mary D-H. who lives in Wisconsin. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They've promised to pray for caregivers and those receiving care.        Again this week we invite you to join, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of December 8, 2008    Juan Diego, Caregiver Dear Friends:        Take heart if you're a caregiver who isn't able to make it to Mass or keep other personal appointments because of your caregiving obligations! Odds are you never stood up the Blessed Mother.        As Juan Diego did.        Juan's feast day is this week: Tuesday, Dec. 9th. And the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe is Friday, Dec. 12th.        No doubt you've heard the basics of his story many, many times. How Mary appeared to him on several occasions in 1531 on a hill named Tepeyac which is near what's now Mexico City. How she asked Juan to tell the local bishop a church was to be built on that spot. How the bishop asked Juan for a sign and so Mary placed roses in the Juan's tilma -- his cloak. And how, when he opened the cloak at the bishop's house the roses fell from it and an image of Mary was imprinted on the cloth.        What you may not know is that Juan -- then a widower in his 50s -- was taking care of an uncle at the time. This from "Encyclopedia of Mary" (Our Sunday Visitor). (It's one of our books.)        Again as Juan made his way home, Mary appeared to him and she promised to provide a sign for Bishop Zumarraga the following day. Unfortunately, that night Juan' uncle, with whom he lived, became gravely ill. Thus, that day, Juan stayed with the man and was unable to visit the site where he had seen Mary.        A day later, his uncle's health had not improved, so Juan left to bring a priest to the dying man. But, to avoid seeing the young woman and having to once more apologize for his failure, he circled around Tepeyac. Even so, Mary appeared to him a fourth time. She assured him his uncle's health would improve and instructed him to climb to the top of the barren hill. There he found and gathered fresh Castilian roses which he placed in his cloak.        For Juan, as a caregiver, it was first things first. And, clearly, Our Lady understood that! - - -       What's in a name?       --St. Juan Diego was a convert and "Juan Diego" was his baptismal name. That's Juan (or, in English, "John") and Diego (or, in English, James).       John and James, two brothers, the sons of Zebedee, two apostles (Mark 3:17). And St. John the Apostle is also . .. . St. John the Caregiver.       --St. Juan Diego's native name was Cuauhtlatoatzin which means "the talking eagle" And the eagle is the traditional symbol of  . . . ?        St. John the Evangelist, who's also . . . St. John the Caregiver. - - -         Please keep an eye out for our 2008-2009 Annual Appeal letter. It's heading your way.        Also, consider making a donation to the Friends of St. John the Caregiver in the name of a family member or friend as this year's Christmas gift to him or her. We'll send your loved one a card or, if you prefer, mail a card to you to give to him or to her. - - -        As we've been mentioning, there are daily Advent reflections provided by Creighton University in Omaha, Neb. To visit the general information page click here, and to go straight the Second Week of Advent, click here.        You can also find the Mass readings for each day at the site for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. That link is here. -        Advent is a great time to . . .        Again this week we invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of December 15, 2008    Pink Moments Dear Friends:        We've been thinking about regrets. And rejoicing. About hard times. And happy memories.        If you've had an Advent wreath at your house or in your parish, you probably know the pink candle was lit yesterday. Two purple, one pink. A lighter color that offers the reminder to "Rejoice!" even in the middle of a season of penance heading toward Christmas. Rejoice (or, in the Latin, "Gaudete!") because Christmas is coming.        Over the years we've noticed that when we talk to former caregivers -- to those whose loved one has died -- they tell us about hard times and regrets. But they also mention happy memories and rejoicing.        In the thick of caregiving -- with so many concerns and that wild mix of emotions -- there were "pink moments."  A shared laugh. A funny incident that became an "inside joke" between the two of them. A quiet time of reminiscing or simply appreciating being in each other's presence or speculating on what one's "eternal home" is really like.        Now one of that pair knows. And the other remains behind.        Christmas can be bittersweet if it isn't that long ago that your care-receiver died. Sorrow that he or she isn't with you and the family. Joy that your loved one is celebrating with the Holy Family and with all those family members and friends who have gone before us.        And Christmas can be bittersweet if you're still caregiving. There are the worries about your loved one and -- no matter how hard you push it into a far corner of your mind -- that little chill saying, "This could be the last one that we're together." And, at the same time, there's gratitude that this year you two are together.        Our prayer this week for former caregivers is that during this Advent, and throughout the Christmas season, the happy memories of "pink moments" will bring you joy and peace.        And, for those who are still taking care of a loved one, we pray that you can recognize those moments when they pop up. That you can enjoy them now and -- years from now -- come to treasure them even more. - - -         We're pleased to report that the 2008-2009 Annual Appeal letters have been mailed. Thank you so much for your generosity!         You didn't get one? Then you can't possibly contribute. Just kidding! Of course, we encourage you to make a donation.   Annual Appeal letter Annual Appeal donor form        Also, consider making a donation to the Friends of St. John the Caregiver in the name of a family member or friend as this year's Christmas gift to him or her. We'll send your loved one a card or, if you prefer, mail a card to you to give to him or to her. - - -        As we've been mentioning, there are daily Advent reflections provided by Creighton University in Omaha, Neb. To visit the general information page click here, and to go straight the Third Week of Advent, click here.        You can also find the Mass readings for each day at the site for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. That link is here. -         Join us in welcoming the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver: Sharon F. in Washington state. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for caregivers and those receiving care.        Again this week we invite you to join, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of December 22, 2008    Don't Be Afraid, Beloved Daughter, Beloved Son Dear Friends:        A blessed and merry Christmas to you, your care-receiver and all your loved ones! This is from the Gospel for midnight Mass: While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid . . . "        We know it's hard -- sometimes impossible! -- not to be afraid as a caregiver. And so our prayer for you this Christmas, and throughout 2009, is that your days, and your nights, will be less fearful.        May you, in your heart, hear what the angel said to Zechariah (the father of John the Baptist, Luke 1:13), to Mary at the Annunciation (Luke 1:30), to Joseph in a dream (Matthew 1:20), and to the shepherds on that first Christmas: "Do not be afraid."        The Messiah -- "God is with us" -- has come.        God is with you.        You are his beloved daughter, his beloved son, and he is very pleased with you. - - -         Thank you to the many people who have already responded to our 2008-2009 Annual Appeal! Please send in your donation if you haven't already done so.        We've posted both the Annual Appeal letter and the donor form.        - - -        As we've been mentioning, there are daily Advent reflections provided by Creighton University in Omaha, Neb. To visit the general information page click here, and to go straight the Fourth Week of Advent, click here.        You can also find the Mass readings for each day at the site for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. That link is here. -         Join us in welcoming the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver: Patricia G. in Florida and Joan L. in Massachusetts. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They've promised to pray for caregivers and those receiving care.        Again this week we invite you to join, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of December 29, 2008    A New Year, Day by Day Dear Friends:        If you're like many -- if not most -- caregivers, the first day of a new year doesn’t mean a pristine calendar. Your "new" calendar has already been marked up with a variety of health-care related items for your loved one because a lot of those dates had to be set up weeks – or even months – ahead of time. Then, too, there are also the standing appointments: blood test, beauty parlor or barber shop, foot care, grocery store, Sunday Mass, weekly lunch and on and on.        If you’re like many -- if not most -- caregivers, you’ll hang on to last year’s calendar because it’s an important record of whom you took your care-receiver to see, and why and when the two of you made that trip. By car, by aid car, by ambulance, by cabulance.       Looking back over the past 12 months, you can be surprised that you’ve forgotten that "horrible day." And you can be pleased to recall that "wonderful day."        Your Loving Father hasn’t forgotten any of them. He was with the two of you then, and now. All those days. Every day. This day. - - -        We want to thank Greg Erlandson, president and publisher of Our Sunday Visitor, for his kind words about the Friends of St. John the Caregiver in his column this week. Greg writes about his own health issues and how challenging it is to be a care-receiver. - - -        And thank you, too, to all those who sent us Christmas cards and who donated to this year's Annual Appeal. Opening our post office box has been like finding gifts under the Christmas tree. It's been wonderful.        No, it's not to late to make a contribution. (Are you kidding!) We encourage you to send in your donation if you've been meaning to do that. We've posted both the Annual Appeal letter and the donor form. - - -        And speaking of posting . . . . The January Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession for parishes are now available at CatholicCaregivers.com. The latest issue of Catholic Caregivers is titled "In Case of an Emergency of Disaster."        (If your region is like ours, you've been hit with some pretty brutal weather recently. We celebrated the feast of St. John the Caregiver -- Saturday, Dec. 27th -- by going to breakfast at Denny's. It was the first time we had ventured out in a week. Snow, snow, snow!) - - -         Join us in welcoming the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver: Janet B. and Mary Ann K. in Indiana, Julie S. in Pennsylvania, and Anne P. in New Jersey. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They've promised to pray for caregivers and those receiving care.        Again this week we invite you to join, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter