'Dear Friends' February 2013

Weeks of February 11 and 18, 2013 Prayer Requests    The 'Lifetime-Plus' Membership Dear Friends:        Monica and I used to joke that those who joined the Friends of St. John the Caregiver had a "lifetime-plus" membership. We meant it was one that would continue even after they died. Since her death on January 6, I've come to better realize how true that is.        As you may know, the only requirement for being an FSJC  member is promising to pray for caregivers and those receiving care. And, as you may know, through the Communion of Saints, those who have died can continue to pray for those of us still on earth. (And we can continue to pray for those who have died but are still preparing to enter heaven.) Then, too, just as we continue to love them, they continue to love us.        If you're caring for someone, if you're receiving care, you have "friends in high places" who love you dearly and who are praying for you.        Right here, right now.        Monica is praying for you. And so am I. - - -        This is a link to Monica's online obituary. It includes a guestbook. - - -        This week we're so pleased to welcome Maureen G. and Audrey T. of Ohio, Donna S. of Missouri, Chris Sneed of Georgia, Barbara T. of Florida, Betty C. of Virginia, and Caroline M. of Indiana as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.        And we cordially invite you  to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                     Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of February 25, 2013 Prayer Requests  When Your Loved One Needs to Move to a Nursing Home Dear Friends:        It can't be easy to give up the papacy. If you were chosen by your fellow cardinals -- and the Holy Spirit -- and you freely agreed to this latest stage of your vocation, it must take wisdom, courage and faith to step down, as Pope Benedict XVI is doing this week.        In a similar way . . .        It isn't easy to take a step back from being your loved one's primary caregiver. It takes wisdom, courage and faith to admit you can no longer safely provide the amount of care that has become necessary. To recognize that his or her needs have increased (and, perhaps, your own strength and ability have decreased) so that it's time to make the move to an assisted-living facility, a memory-care facility, or a nursing home.        It can help to keep in mind that those who blithely say "Oh, I would never put my loved one in a nursing home" may never have actually faced the need to make that decision. And they have no idea of what your particular caregiving situation entails.        It isn't that those who place a loved one in a nursing home or other facility are heartless. It's that they know, deep in their heart, this is what needs to be done because this is what's best. A horrible option perhaps, but best. And doing that is, in so many ways, heartbreaking.        Then, too, there are those who say "I cared for my loved one at home and he [or she] died there." And in answer to that, I tell you as someone whose wife died at home with me as her primary caregiver: "They were blessed that the circumstances allowed that." Yes, a caregiver plays a role in making that happen but so much is beyond his or her control, including the care-receiver's particular illness and medical needs, the caregiver's own health, the support of others (both personal and professional), finances, and much, much more.        Let me put this bluntly:        You are not a bad person, not a bad spouse (daughter, son, parent, sibling . . . ), not a bad Catholic if you are no longer able to care for your loved one at home and need to move him or her to an assisted-living facility, memory-care facility, or nursing home.        This is not a sin. Far from it. It may be one of the most courageous acts of love of your life.        And the hardest.        Please know that you and your care-receiver are being prayed for by members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver around the world.        And you remain in my prayers. - - -        This is a link to Monica's online obituary. It includes a guestbook. - - -        This week we're so pleased to welcome Georgia F. of Texas as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.        And we cordially invite you  to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                     Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter