'Dear Friends' July 2008

Monday, July 7, 2008    Alcoholism and Aging Dear Friends,        We thought we'd start this week's letter with a short excerpt from "Alcoholism and Aging," which is featured in this month's edition of "Catholic Caregiver" and is a Topic on YourAgingParent.com:        "Alcoholism in a family is a touchy subject. Denial is one of the most common symptoms of the disease. To make matters worse, many older people think that alcoholism is simply a moral weakness and not a disease.        "In fact, an older body has more difficulty processing alcohol. Maybe your loved one has only been a social drinker, but as he advances in years, the same amount of alcohol packs more of a wallop, and its effects last longer, because his tolerance level has dropped.        "A second factor is medication. Many older people take a variety of medications that shouldn’t be combined with alcohol. An older person may also come to rely on the numbing effect of alcohol to deal with pain. While alcohol seems to dull both physical and emotional pain, it eventually compounds both. . . . "        You can read more on this topic here. And to view the same material as a one-page flier, go here and scroll down to July 2008.        And here are links for:    Alcoholics Anonymous    Al-Anon/Alateen    AA's "The Big Book"    The Calix Society ("An association of Catholic alcoholics who are maintaining their sobriety through affiliation with and participation in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Our first concern is to interest Catholics with an alcoholic problem in the virtue of total abstinence. Our second stated purpose is to promote the spiritual development of our membership.")        If you or your loved one has a drinking problem, our prayers are with you. We understand how difficult this can be and we know what a difference sobriety -- a challenge and a blessing -- can make. - - -       Again, thank you so much to all who have sent in a "Non-event 2008" donation. (The invitation was a big hit!) If you've been meaning to do that, please take a few minutes to write that check and drop it in the mail. Your gift makes a big difference. - - -     Please join us in welcoming the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to Dolores M. and Tillie G. in New Mexico and Mary S. in Florida. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for caregivers and those receiving care.    And, of course, we invite you to join, too! You can find out more about becoming a member here.     No meetings, no dues. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).     God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, July 14, 2008    The Littlest Caregivers Dear Friends:        Just as World Youth Day 2008 offers the reminder that the Catholic Church includes young people, it's good to remember -- to recognize -- that there are also "youth caregivers." We're talking about the grade-schooler who has extra duties because a parent is taking care of Grandma or Grandpa. The teen who can't take part in extracurricular activities after school because he has to get home to help a parent or senior family member who's ill or frail. The sibling whose brother or sister has special needs and so that boy or girl has special responsibilities.        If a typical family caregiver often goes about his or her work unseen by all but a very few, the littlest caregiver is close to invisible.        --She's getting dinner ready because Mom had to stop at Grandma's on the way home from work.        --He's putting a pile of laundry into the washing machine because Dad is spending so much time at the hospital and Mom needs to be with him.        --She's making sure her brother brushes his teeth or gets properly dressed or remembers to wear his glasses and or his hearing aids.        --He's coming to his sister's defense among the neighborhood kids because . . . well, she may be weird in some ways and he may get mad at her sometimes but she's his sister!        Little shoulders can carry big loads.        During this week of World Youth Day, we encourage you to particularly remember in your prayers the youngest family caregivers. May God richly bless them now and always. - - -         If your children have a bother or sister with special needs, we encourage you to learn more about the Sibling Support Project. Years ago two of our own children were fortunate to be able to attend a "Sibshop." (Their older brother was in special ed throughout his school years.) Don Meyer is a pioneer in the field and did a great job helping our family and countless others.         (And, as long as we're on the subject, your child might enjoy a middle-grade novel titled "My Sister Annie." (Bill is the author.) It's about a grade-schooler whose older sister had Downs syndrome.)        If you're a "sib," you know that your caregiving responsibilities can increase after you and your brother or sister have reached adulthood and your parents have passed away. There's more information for adult sibs here and here, too.  - - -        The latest edition of the FSJC quarterly newsletter, "Among Friends," was mailed and e-mailed last week. You can read it here, too. - - -       Thank you so much to all who have sent in a "Non-event 2008" donation. (The invitation was a big hit!) If you've been meaning to do that, please take a few minutes to write that check and drop it in the mail. Your gift makes a big difference. - - -     Please join us in welcoming the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to Mary Ann D. in New York. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for caregivers and those receiving care.    And, of course, we invite you to join, too! You can find out more about becoming a member here.     No meetings, no dues. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).     God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, July 21, 2008    The Stations of the Cross for Caregivers Dear Friends:        Perhaps you noticed that the praying of the Stations of the Cross was among the activities and devotions for World Youth Day 2008. A Catholic News Service article reported:        In a week when the presence of Pope Benedict XVI in Sydney for World Youth Day had produced multiple memorable moments, the re-enactment of Jesus' last days on earth was an event the likes of which this city had not seen before.        Combining traditional and contemporary elements of song, dance and drama set amid many of Sydney's iconic landmarks, this huge devotional production attracted hundreds of thousands to key locations in the city and harbor shores. Joining Sydney participants was a worldwide viewing audience estimated to be more than 500 million. . . .       Pope Benedict XVI was at St. Mary's Cathedral to watch the re-enactment of the Last Supper on the steps. Afterward, the pope prayed that those "who do not know or have forgotten" Christ should seek him in the Eucharist.        "Draw us to your real presence at Mass," prayed the pope. "Help us to understand that communion with you also means union with all those to whom you give yourself. Make us generous and insightful as we try to walk in your footsteps."        We were surprised to see that the participants used some different "stations" than the ones with which we're most familiar. The events didn't identically match the traditional 14. (You can see a list of their stations here. Scroll down on that page for a link to the prayers themselves.)        And we were delighted to see Station 11: Jesus Entrusts Mary and John to Each Other.  The reflection for that station included this:        The charge of mutual care given by the dying God-man echoes on, even goes on echoing up to our own day.        As a caregiver, a care-receiver or someone who supports both, you know how true that is.        This week seems like a good time to remind you that we'd be happy to mail you a free copy of the prayer book titled "The Stations of the Cross for Caregivers." Just send a self-addressed stamped envelope to us at:                        Friends of St. John the Caregiver                                    P.O. Box 320,                         Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043.        (Outside the United States or to request multiple copies, e-mail us your information here.) - - -        Did you notice the art for this week's "Dear Friends" letter? It's a detail from that 11th Station by Richard Campbell.        As Catholic News Service reported in its article about the stations being said in Sydney:        One poignant departure from the European tradition of the stations was the depiction of Simon of Cyrene as an Aboriginal man. In this vignette the actor was manacled to other Aborigines to reflect the way that colonial powers captured and chained indigenous people on the edges of the frontier in the 19th century.        When, in the enactment of the stations, the Roman guard released this man from his shackles and directed him to take up Jesus' cross, it was a metaphor of the backbreaking burden that Australia's indigenous people have labored under since white settlement 220 years ago first began to separate them from their land.        Reading the prayer at this station was Louise Campbell, an Aboriginal Catholic education officer who works in the Maitland-Newcastle Diocese, north of Sydney. In collaboration with her brother, Richard Campbell, a World Youth Day indigenous artist, Louise Campbell has developed many Aboriginal interpretations of scriptural images. Her brother's paintings of the Stations of the Cross, which hang on the walls of the Church of Reconciliation in suburban La Perouse, were widely used in World Youth Day promotions.        As members of the so-called Stolen Generations, the brother and sister were separated as young children when welfare authorities broke up their family of 11 siblings. The children were sent to white foster homes and institutions, and it was not until 20 years later that the two were reunited. They are both proud of their Aboriginal and Catholic heritage.        Louise Campbell's prayer reached out to all the marginalized peoples in society -- "the sick, starving, jailed, depressed, the refugees and strangers."        "They may not seem to match our image of you and this, too, has come to be true of many of the indigenous peoples of our world," she prayed. "But they are truly are sisters and brothers. Help us not to ignore them, but to walk with them and lighten their burdens." - - -     Please join us in welcoming the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to Rosemary D. who lives in Maryland. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She's promised to pray for caregivers and those receiving care.    And, of course, we invite you to join, too! You can find out more about becoming a member here.     No meetings, no dues. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).     God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, July 28, 2008    Caregiving is a Family Affair Dear Friends:        It can seem there's nothing more wonderful -- or, at times, aggravating -- than family. Both those extremes can be even more intense when it comes to caregiving. It's hard enough for one person to help a loved one but when it's a family helping . . . . It can seem like a committee -- and you know how committees can be. And this committee is one that knows the history (and hot-buttons) of every member.        Here's an excerpt from "Caregiving is a Family Affair," a topic on YourAgingParent.com and the subject for the August edition of Catholic Caregivers:      As a child you probably didn't like it when others compared you to your siblings. Now, as an adult caring for an aging parent, those similarities and differences can continue to influence the challenges your family is facing.      You and your siblings each have a unique relationship with your parent. You've each played particular roles in the family. Those roles have been shaped over your lifetime. So it’s not strange that we fall back into our family roles when everyone gathers.      You each have unique abilities, life experiences and training. You each have your own way of handling things. Your own strengths and weaknesses.      It's a small wonder then that when it comes to helping your mother or father, there may at times be some differences of opinion, even some friction.        You can read more on YourAgingParent.com here or find a downloadable copy of Catholic Caregivers here. - - -        We continue to receive requests for prayers from family caregivers all over the world. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. Here's a list of requests and here is how to add your own intentions. - - -        A new month (August? Already?) means new Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession for parishes at CatholicCaregivers.com. And, as already mentioned, a new edition of Catholic Caregivers, too. - - -        And, of course, we invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. You can find out more about becoming a member here.     No meetings, no dues. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).     God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter