Strange
to say, but in countries where food is plentiful and
cheap, it can be hard to eat right. You know what we
mean. It can
be tough to steer clear of the fast-food
places and the treats loaded with sugar, fat and salt.
(But that combination is so delicious!) As a
caregiver, you need to take in the right kind of fuel to
keep going. As a care-receiver, your diet has to feature
nutritious items.
Yes, we all know this. Yes, we all -- at
times -- slip up.
"Encouraging Good Nutrition" is the focus
of a new Topic here on
YourAgingParent.com and for July's Catholic
Caregivers flier.
Here's an excerpt (or should we say "a little taste?):
Helping your care-receiver develop and maintain a healthy,
well-balanced diet can be a considerable challenge, especially if
you’re an adult child taking care of an aging parent. As a body ages, the digestive system is more prone to heartburn and
constipation. Dental problems may make chewing painful. Some
medications suppress a person’s appetite or promote weight gain.
Depression can bring on a change in appetite. Dad may simply not
care about food. If Mom has memory loss, she may forget to eat or
may think she has eaten. Finances may be tight. Some older
people, after paying rent and utility bills, have little left over
for buying food. It can also be difficult to eat properly when you’re alone. It’s so
much easier to skip a meal or nibble on less nutritious foods when
no one else is there.
You can read more
here and
the flier is available
here.
Also, we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
As
a caregiver, you know it can be hard doing more. As a
caregiver, you know there's a lot more to do now than
there was a
few years, a few months, a few weeks ago. A
good portion of your time, energy, and attention are
focused on helping your loved one.
What you might not realize is that, as a
care-receiver, it can be hard doing less. What you were
able to do a few years, a few months or even a few weeks
ago, you can't do right now. And some of those things,
you'll never be able to do again.
That ability (walking around the
block, for example) or the joy and satisfaction that
came from completing that task (weeding the garden, for
instance) are gone.
You can read more about those kinds of
losses here. And it's the
subject of Monica's talk on this video:
Please join us in welcoming Sister Charline S. of Texas
as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the
Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your
prayers. She's promised to pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Call
it "20/20 hindsight" or "Monday-morning quarterbacking,"
the feeling is the same. "If I had known then what I
know now, I never
would have . . . . " Or perhaps "If
I had known then what I know now, I can see I should have
. . . ."
It's easy to second-guess yourself when
you're caregiving. There are a lot of decisions. A lot of
choices. A lot of times you feel as if you're in over
your head. Perhaps no solution to the latest concern
seems good. Perhaps several of them seem solid. How do
you choose the best one? That's the focus for one of the
Topics on YourAgingParent.com. Here's how it begins:
It's not unusual for a family caregiver to discover
that an unexpected problem is all the number of
possible solutions. After looking carefully at your care-receiver's
needs and the various ways to meet those needs, it may become clear
there is no single right choice. There may be many choices, each with
merit. So which is best for him or her? How can you
be sure you and your loved one are making the right decision? The following are basic principles used when
assisting someone who needs care. It can help a family to consider each
when trying to reach a decision.
You can read more
here.
But still . . . .
Looking back on some of your choices, how
do you let go of those feelings of guilt about a
decision that didn't work out as you and your
care-receiver had hoped it would?
It can help to remember the "WABAC machine"
is broken. (The WABAC (pronounced "way back") was a
device on The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show that
allowed time travel.)
In other words, you can't go back in time
and change what's happened. If you made a mistake, learn
from it and move on. Or as someone once put it: "It's
tough to move forward if you refuse to take your eyes
off the rear-view mirror."
- - -
Please join us in welcoming Claro W. of Nevada, Heather
G. of New York and Claire L. of Colorado
as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the
Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your
prayers. They've promised to pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
This
Thursday, July 29, is the feast of St. Martha. Many
caregivers find it easy to identify with her. How can
you be a caregiver
and
not be a "Martha"? Not, in Jesus' words, be "anxious and
worried abut many things"?
On her feast day, one
Gospel
choice is the story from Luke 10:38-42 that tells of
Martha and her sister Mary. You probably know it. (And,
perhaps, it makes you grind your teeth a little just
thinking about it.)
Jesus entered a village where a
woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a
sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his
feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with
much serving, came to him and said, "Lord, do you
not care that my sister has left me by myself to do
the serving? Tell her to help me." The Lord said to
her in reply, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and
worried about many things. There is need of only one
thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will
not be taken from her."
As a caregiver, you can -- like Martha -- at times feel
"burdened with much serving." So what is Jesus telling
Martha? What is he telling you? Don't be of service? Of
course not. For a time, as a caregiver, the way you --
like Mary -- sit "beside the Lord at his feet listening
to him speak" is by taking care of your loved one. As
the Prayer to St.
John, Patron of Caregivers says:
Pray for us, that as we go about our many caregiving
duties, we may never lose sight of that truth
which Christ revealed to His disciples:
"Whatever you did for one of these,
you did for Me." Amen.
As a caregiver, it's easy to be "anxious and worried
about many things" because it can be hard to loosen up
on non-caregiving responsibilities. (The house needs
vacuuming. The weeds are going wild in the garden. The
birthday cards aren't being sent on time to loved ones.)
"The New Jerome Biblical Commentary" says
this about Jesus' "one thing": "The lesson is not that
one should prepare a casserole rather than a
seven-course meal. One thing undergirds all following of
Jesus: listening to his word . . . and that is the best
part."
If you've accepted the "vocation" of
caregiver, you're listening well! And you're following
the advice the Blessed Mother gave to the servers at the
wedding feast at Cana: "Do whatever he tells you" (John
2:5).
- - -
At the same time . . . Caregiving is a family affair.
Here's some advice when
siblings share -- or don't share -- caregiving
responsibilities.
- - -
Please join us in welcoming Carmela F. of New Jersey and
Jun C. of Connecticut
as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the
Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your
prayers. They've promised to pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
be tough to steer clear of the fast-food
places and the treats loaded with sugar, fat and salt.
(But that combination is so delicious!) As a
caregiver, you need to take in the right kind of fuel to
keep going. As a care-receiver, your diet has to feature
nutritious items.
few years, a few months, a few weeks ago. A
good portion of your time, energy, and attention are
focused on helping your loved one.
would have . . . . " Or perhaps "If
I had known then what I know now, I can see I should have
. . . ." 
and
not be a "Martha"? Not, in Jesus' words, be "anxious and
worried abut many things"?