Dear Friends November 2010

Week of November 1, 2010
Prayer Requests

'The Beatitudes for Caregivers'

Dear Friends:

You're probably very familiar with the Gospel reading for today, the Solemnity of All Saints. It's the Beatitudes, Matthew 5:1-12a, the Sermon on the Mount. A "Beatitudes for Caregivers" might go something like this:

       Blessed are those who sleep poorly because they're worried about their loved one or because their loved one wakes in the middle of the night and needs help, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
       Blessed are those who mourn because their loved, though still alive, is slipping away because of dementia, for they will be comforted.
       Blessed are the meek who force themselves to speak up and speak out to make sure their loved one receives the help he or she needs, for they will inherit the land.
       Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for answers to why this is happening to their loved one and how much longer it will go on, for they will be satisfied.
       Blessed are those who show mercy, kindness, and compassion to their loved one, for they will be shown mercy, kindness, and compassion.
       Blessed are those who keep clean a loved one who is physically or mentally unable to keep himself or herself clean, for they will see God.
       Blessed are those who help their loved one find moments of peace, for they will be called children of God.
       Blessed are those who are misunderstood, not appreciated, and taken for granted in their role as caregiver, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
        Blessed are you whose caregiving efforts are unjustly criticized -- or are falsely accused of not caring about others -- because of your love for your care-receiver . . . and your love for God, who has asked you to help his beloved son or daughter.
       Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.
                              --Friends of St. John the Caregiver

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       Please join us in welcoming the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver: Susan S. of Florida and Dean V. of Wisconsin. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.
       Again this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here

        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)

        or print and mail an application form.

God bless you!

Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" letters
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

Week of November 8, 2010
Prayer Requests

The Need to Have Fun

Dear Friends:

       When you’re caught up in the worries and demands of taking care of a loved one, it’s easy to overlook how important it is for your care-receiver to do something enjoyable.
       No matter how old we are, our emotional health depends a great deal on fun.
       Pleasurable activities are especially important when illness, depression, and grief dampen our spirits. Unfortunately, sometimes when we need those good times the most, they’re the first things we eliminate.
       Finding and suggesting something that will be enjoyable for your care-receiver isn’t always easy. It can take imagination, work—and diplomacy.
       These are some suggestions:

You can find the rest of this new Topic here, and it's our subject for the "Catholic Caregivers" flier for November.
We've also posted the November Prayers of Intercession and Bulletin Briefs.

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And speaking of posting . . . . You can find the Fall 2010 issue of FSJC's quarterly newsletter -- "Among Friends" -- here. You'll notice we're marking our fifth anniversary! And we list the many wonderful, wonderful people who have made donations since last spring.

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       Please join us in welcoming the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver: Deborah S. in Florida. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.
       Again this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here

        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)

        or print and mail an application form.

God bless you!

Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" letters
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

Week of November 15, 2010
Prayer Requests

The Challenges of 'Long-distance Caregiving'

Dear Friends:

       With the upcoming holidays season, which can stretch from Thanksgiving next week (in the United States) through Christmas and New Year's, it's not unusual for "long-distance caregivers" to be planning a visit to their care-receivers.
       It could be an only adult child heading back to see an aging parent. A niece or nephew checking in on an elderly aunt or uncle still living alone. A brother or sister, or son or daughter, "coming home" to give the frontline caregiver sibling a respite.
       There are a lot of reasons a caregiver can't live near his or her care-receiver and those periodic, or regularly scheduled, face-to-face visits are important for both.
        We'll make three points here and then point you toward a Topic on this . . . topic.
        --If you're the frontline caregiver: Don't be surprised if Mom or Dad perks up when your sibling comes to town and can seem to do more than normal during those few days. We all perk up when company's here. That may mean your sibling thinks your assessment of your parent's condition is a little off.
        --If you're the long-distance caregiver: Don't be offended if your aging parent doesn't want your help with some things and insists your sibling (his or her "regular" -- or "real" -- caregiver) handles it. Those two have established a routine with which your parent is comfortable and a level of trust when it comes to certain duties (such as being taken around in a wheelchair, for example, or being helped in and out of a car).
       --If you're the frontline or the long-distance caregiver: Remember that both roles are important. And both have their challenges. Yes, you may have some differing points of view when it comes to your parent's care. (You have different opinions on other things, too, don't you?) But one thing you can agree on is your desire to help your parent. And one way to do that is to let your mom or dad see you two working together -- cooperating, getting along -- as much as possible.
       We know some families face particular obstacles in this area. We want you to know that, especially during these visits, you're in our prayers.
       There's more on long-distance caregiving here.

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       Again this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here

        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)

        or print and mail an application form.

God bless you!

Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" letters
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

Week of November 22, 2010
Prayer Requests

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Dear Friends:

As we said in the fall newsletter: "On a day dedicated to giving thanks to God and our loved ones, we — on behalf of your care-receiver — want to thank you for many ways (the cornucopia of ways?) you live that love."

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As it has for a number of years, Creighton University's online ministry has daily prayers for Advent, which begins Sunday, Nov. 28.

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Free Christmas Gifts! Friends of St. John the Caregiver holy cards, prayer cards and prayer books:
          --make great stocking stuffers,
          --are ideal for including in Christmas cards,
          --and are the perfect accompaniment for those tins of Christmas cookies you’re giving to family, friends and neighbors.
       Free means free! The items are free and the shipping is free, too. This is the order form that has the list of material available and just click here for ways to contact us.

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        sign up on-line here

        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)

        or print and mail an application form.

God bless you!

Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" letters
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

Week of November 29, 2010
Prayer Requests

Caregiver as Referee

Dear Friends:

"Refereeing Fights between Mom and Dad" is the newest Topic on YourAgingParent.com and the subject for December's issue of Catholic Caregivers.
Here's how it begins:

If both your parents need your help with caregiving, you may face the added challenge of handling friction in your parents’ relationship. An aging couple may not get along for many reasons, and their so-called golden years of marriage may seem to be anything but that. The sad truth is that divorce is not unheard of among couples whose children have grown up and moved away. While a youngster can do little, if anything, to stop a fight between his or her parents, an adult child may feel an obligation to step forward. Here are some points to consider if you find yourself in that position:

Your can read the Topic here or the flier here.

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We've also posted the December Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession at CatholicCaregivers.com

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As it has for a number of years, Creighton University's online ministry has daily prayers for Advent.

- - -

       Please join us in welcoming the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver: Joyce P. of Florida. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.
       Again this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here

        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)

        or print and mail an application form.

God bless you!

Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" letters
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter