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Dear Friends

On Your Pilgrimage Called Grief

'On Your Pilgrimage Called Grief'

Week of October 1, 2019
Prayer Requests

Dear Friends:

Like a lot of others, my caregiving duties ended with the death of my loved one and my grieving began.

Some of you may know that my wife, Monica, passed away in early 2013. Since then I've written about grief and widowhood and now that material is available in a paperback book: "On Your Pilgrimage Called Grief: A Guide for Widows and Widowers."

You, or someone close to you, may find it helpful.

Here's an excerpt:

1. The grief of widowhood is like a chronic condition. Yes, it does get much easier. Yes, joy and peace of mind—and heart—do return. But that grief can flare up both at expected times and at times when it’s unexpected.

2. After the death of your spouse you live on the same planet but in a different world.

3. It can be easy to mistakenly assume that if you just had enough faith, if you just prayed harder, if you were just a better Catholic, the grief of widowhood would be swiftly overcome. That isn't true. Yes, our faith, our prayers, and our Catholicism help in many ways. But, no, faith isn’t some "get-out-grief-free card."

4. There can be deep comfort in knowing this: either you were going to die first or your spouse was. So either you or your loved one was going to "take the hit" of widowhood. You’re taking it so—thanks be to God—he or she will never have to.

Like you were before your spouse's death, your dear one had no idea how huge and awful widowhood would be. And never will know that. Every feeling of loss, fear, and despair so deeply rooted in your widowhood is one he or she will never experience.

Your dear spouse is in a state of being that's eternal joy and peace … and is waiting for you to join him or her there. And then you two can, truly, live happily ever after.

This is also in the book and it's available in a downloadable format online, too. It's a handout for widows and widowers to give to their family, friends and others:
"A Few Things I Would Like You to Know About Widowhood."

You remain in my prayers,


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And again this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include and You can find out more about becoming a member here.

No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).

You can:

sign up on-line here

or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)

or print and mail an application form.

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